An Old Guy's Random Remembering #8

ONCE UPON A TIME, IN THE BIBLE
9/19/03

“IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE, THEN MAN SET ABOUT TO RECREATE GOD IN HIS IMAGE.” IT IS APPARENTLY THE NATURE OF MANKIND TO PRESUME THAT HE KNOWS THE WILL OF GOD. THE TERRORISTS THAT FREQUENTLY ATTACK INNOCENT PEOPLE IN ALL PARTS OF THE WORLD, CLAIM THEY DO IT IN THE NAME OF GOD. WHEN I WAS A BOY, SEGREGATION OF RACES WITHIN THE SOUTH WAS JUSTIFIED, IN THE MINDS OF MANY, AS THE WAY GOD WANTED PEOPLE TO BEHAVE.

MUCH HAS BEEN MADE RECENTLY ABOUT THE ORDINATION OF THE REVEREND CANON V. GENE ROBINSON TO BISHOP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.

WHAT IS GOD’S WILL TOWARD FAIRIES? WHAT WOULD BE GOD’S FINAL JUDGMENT OF A HOMOSEXUAL SOUL, AND HOW DOES GOD DEFINE A MAN? THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF CONFUSION CONCERNING THE PUBLIC’S DEFINITION OF A HOMOSEXUAL. I ONCE HEARD A LADY VERY SERIOUSLY RELATE TO A TALK-SHOW HOST “ONCE A LARGE GANG OF HOMOSEXUALS RAN DOWN AND RAPED MY GRANDSON IN A FIELD.”

SOME POINT TO LEVITICUS TO “QUOTE” GOD’S VIEW OF HOMOSEXUALITY:

13: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO LIE WITH MANKIND AS WITH A WOMAN? THE EQUIPMENT IS ALL WRONG, UNLESS GOD MEANS THAT IT’S NORMAL TO BUGGER A WOMAN, BUT NOT A MAN. IT ALSO LISTS COUNTLESS OTHER “LIES” ONE SHALT NOT INDULGE IN. OTHER PARTS OF LEVITICUS DECLARE THAT IT IS AGAINST GOD’S WILL TO EAT PORK OR CATFISH.

THEN OTHERS POINT TO GENESIS CHAPTER 19. ON THE EVE OF GOD’S DESTRUCTION OF THOSE WICKED CITIES OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH, A COUPLE OF ANGELS VISITED LOT, WHO LIVED IN SODOM. LOT TOOK THESE TRAVELERS IN SO THAT THEY WOULD NOT HAVE TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE STREET. WHEN THE WICKED MEN OF SODOM ASKED THAT HIS VISITORS BE SENT OUT TO THEM, HE OFFERED HIS TWO VIRGIN DAUGHTERS INSTEAD, SAYING THAT THEY COULD DO ANYTHING THEY WANTED WITH THE GIRLS, BUT PLEASE LEAVE HIS GUESTS ALONE. THERE IS NO INDICATION THAT THESE BAD GUYS WERE HOMOS, THEY WERE JUST WICKED, OR PERHAPS THEY WERE LIKE THE MISCHIEVOUS GANG THAT CHASED THE LADY’S GRANDSON.

LATER, LOT WAS DECLARED A RIGHTEOUS MAN FOR HIS EFFORTS, AND WAS DIRECTED BY GOD TO TAKE HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTERS AWAY FROM THE CITY, AND DON’T LOOK BACK, BECAUSE THE CITY WOULD BE DESTROYED.

LOT’S WIFE COULDN’T RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO LOOK BACK, AND SHE WAS TURNED INTO A PILLAR OF SALT FOR HER DISOBEDIENCE OF GOD’S ORDERS. LOT DECIDED HE WAS TOO RIGHTEOUS TO SUBJECT HIMSELF TO THE TEMPTATIONS OF ANY CITY, SO HE SETTLED WITH THOSE SAME VIRGIN DAUGHTERS INTO A CAVE IN THE MOUNTAINS.

THE GIRLS, WHOSE UNDERSTANDING OF GOD’S WILL TOLD THEM THAT IT WOULD BE A GREAT SIN TO LET THEIR FATHER’S SEED DIE OUT, TOOK TURNS SITTING ON THEIR PASSED-OUT DRUNK FATHER IN ORDER TO CONCEIVE BASTARD CHILDREN TO CONTINUE THEIR LINE.

AS A TEENAGER WORKING IN A SUMMER JOB, I HEARD ANOTHER VIEW OF GOD’S WILL FROM A MIDDLE AGED CO-WORKER. HE SAID “WHEN YOU GO BEFORE SAINT PETER AND HE ASKS HOW MANY KIDS YOU HAD, YOU BETTER HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL HIM. IF YOUR WIFE CAN’T HAVE CHILDREN, YOU NEED TO FIND SOME WOMEN ON THE SIDE TO MAKE YOUR KIDS FOR YOU!”

WHAT EXACTLY DOES THE BIBLE TEACH ABOUT THE SINFULNESS OF HOMOSEXUALITY? IS IT ACCEPTABLE TO GOD THAT WE PICK AND CHOOSE THE PARTS OF THE BIBLE THAT WE WANT TO BE GOD’S WILL?


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